Dialogue not violence, but how to achieve it?

And this time it will remotely touch the Israel's subject dealing more with the situation in the region.
Tonight two American embassies - in Benghazi, Libya and in Cairo, Egypt were attacked by mob of angry Islamists. One American was killed, one seriously wounded and buildings were burned and looted.

Here are links to the story
Attacks on American embassies
Attacks - another link

The movie which, supposedly, triggered attacks seems pretty harsh on Islam from the description (however I don't know the film) and in a bad taste. Yet attacking in Cairo the embassy of the country which gives 1.3 billion $ help to Egypt yearly over the film that has nothing to do with the authorities of this country shows the mentality of attackers. And it is horrifying and scary to much greater extend that any bad movie could be.
Yes, it should be unacceptable to try to shame people's religion, political views, ethnic background or whatever else. But it was done more than once to ALL (Christianity, Judaism, all races, all political views, probably most nations). Moreover it is on daily basis done in the very same Arab countries that were the scene of attacks - they depict Judaism, Jews, Christianity and Western values as well as - notoriously - Israel and the USA as well as many other countries in the worst possible light, using deliberate lies and staging the non-existent facts.
Yet they consider the reverse not a case of bad taste but a crime for which all are responsible. There is no concept of free speech in those countries so any press article, picture, movie or photo they don't like may put in danger (and does) embassies, tourists from Western countries, workers from Western countries and so on. They might not even heard about this movie/ picture/ article. Or the may not agree with it. They may get killed for it anyway.

And this is something as horrible as can be!

Why am I writing about it in blog about Israel? Well, recently I read a letter to publisher of one of the big magazines in response to article about Israel. There were few responses, but one was accusing Israel for not developing good neighborhood links with countries in the region. The author of the letter was Danish.
I read and thought: how on Earth are you supposed to develop "good neighborly relationships" with countries who day after your country came into being send armies (7 in total) to attack you as they don't like you? Countries who (Nasser and his allies before 6-day-war) declare they are after wiping you of the map and murdering all your citizens? Countries who tolerate (even if not collaborate with) terrorist organizations that send suicide bombers to attack your civil population randomly? Who take water and electricity from you and claim you treat them as Nazis did Jews (half of 6 million Jews in Europe died due to conditions in ghettos and shooting, only the other half died in gas chambers -in 5 years; Palestinian population has quadrupled but it is in their eyes "extermination)? How do you do it?

How can you have good,  safe relationship with a country that accepts your huge financial help and shoots your citizens and burns your embassy over a movie (however tasteless) that a private person in your country did?
Would they help financially/ in humanitarian way the USA or Israel or UK or Germany if they needed it? I don't think so.... They receive help and threat to kill if they don't like whatever little thing that happens in the benefactor's country. WOW!

PS Only after writing this have I learned that in the incident (to put it mildly) in Benghazi US ambassador and 3 other diplomats were murdered